What does it mean to be a modern woman?

Every Women’s Day I ponder about what it means to be a woman in the world today.   As I close my eyes so many images float to the surface, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a colleague, a boss, an athlete, a doctor, a soldier, a teacher and so many more.

Wow, what a complicated role it is to be a woman. The most challenging aspect is the fact that most women don’t just play one, we often juggle a multitude of hats and of course we have to be perfect at all of them. That sure is a lot of pressure.

We are often conflicted between our biological drive to nurture, to give, to care and the simultaneous pull in the opposite direction of reaching professional success which often calls for us to be tough, rugged and bold.

So why do women put themselves in such a tough spot? Why do we feel the need to prove to the world that we can do it all? And can we really be great at everything?

Mastering a skill takes a lot of time and dedication so when we stretch ourselves thin, something has to give. We simply cannot give 100% of our attention to each hat we wear. So inevitably some area of our life starts to drag behind a bit. But we will never admit it. Women have been working so incredibly hard at attaining independence and equality that we are afraid to show the slightest sign of weakness. We are so terrified of losing one inch of respect that we carry on the facade that every single aspect of our life is perfectly managed.

But it isn’t. It’s hard. It’s stressful. It’s demanding and its downright exhausting. Yet we carry on. We put on our brightly colored lipstick and smile like we’ve got it all under control.

This complicated life of a modern woman didn’t just appear out of thin air. It was born out of our protest against mistreatment and oppression. So many years of our history tell tales of women being treated as objects rather than the magnificent beings that they truly are.

One of the biggest mistakes of our generation’s past is undermining the power of a woman. Taking their kindness for weakness, taking for granted the softness of their touch, abusing the gentle and loving nature they possess, stripping their beautiful souls of dignity and respect. Women were built to create, but somehow, somewhere along the way, their own creations turned their backs on them. Their own creations built a world where women had no voice, no justice, no resources to self-sustain. Women had no other choice than to stand up for themselves. They fought back for equality, for fairness, for justice.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve gone too far in our quest for equality. Because if you think about, today a woman can be the president of a corporation and a mother at the same time.  But can she be excellent at both?  Each one of these responsibilities is a full-time job in itself. Both are demanding endeavors that require commitment and dedication. So how can one person do both equally well? Something has to give. A woman has to make a choice, she either becomes a mother that is not always present for her children or a CEO who cannot attend all the meetings on the books. This is a difficult choice to make.

Is this what the women’s equality movement was after? Is this what equality looks like? Does it seem fair? Do we really want equality or should we shift our focus on fairness?

At the end of the day, a woman should have the ability to choose to do whatever she pleases with her own life. And truth be told, being a mother is not every woman’s dream; just like being an executive is not every woman’s dream either. And that’s OK.  A woman’s dream could include having children, it could mean having a lustrous career, it could mean being a pilot, a cabby or philanthropist. What I’m asking is: do we have to do it all?

Dear ladies, I hope you are continuously reviewing your priorities. Life is ever changing, as are we, make sure you are paying attention to what really matters to you in your life.

Dear men, thank you for showing respect to the women of this earth, thank you for treating them fairly and kindly. Thank you for valuing women for their individual strengths and for embracing our desire to be heard.

Happy International Woman’s Day to all my lovely friends!

Sending you love, peace and, good vibrations.

With love, Alyana.

For more information about the global day of women a.k.a. International Women’s Day visit https://www.internationalwomensday.com

For more thought-provoking reads ideas, check out Change and why we fear it and Not getting what you want in life? Maybe its meant to be

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