There are over 7 billion people in this world; gosh that is a large number. It’s hard to believe that with so many people in the world it can still be difficult to find the right partner. Each and every one of us is unique down to our very DNA yet most of us share a commonality, we all want to love and be loved, we want to share our journey through life with someone who gets us, someone we can trust and count on when the going gets rough. The selection process for “the one” varies for each individual. Some effortlessly stumble into lifelong love, some take a few falls along the way while others spend most of their life searching for that special someone. Whether you’re deep in love or still searching, try to keep in mind that while having a life partner is an important aspect of fulfillment, choosing the right person to be by your side is even more imperative. To be clear, I am not saying that you need to go out and find a perfect human, not at all. As a matter of fact we are all imperfect. Our imperfections make us who we are; they make us unique, beautiful and full of wonder. Instead of perfection, seek character traits that help you become the best version of you. Below is a list of a few key traits that I find essential in a perfect mate.Your partner in shine should:
1. Love you for who you are, not who they want you to be – understanding our differences is keyto a successful relationship. By observing and learning your partner’s likes and dislikes you can make educated decisions on how to make them happy or what makes them tick. Because how can we make someone happy if their definition of happiness is different from our own?
2. Support your passions – Behind every great skill or talent there is a whole lot of passion. Passion is the fire that ignites our drive, our dedication and determination. Without passion our life can appear to be bleak and unexciting, sometimes even pointless, therefore, it is critical that we allow ourselves to explore and pursue our passions. Your partner needs to value and respect your personal passion, no matter how big or small.
3. Be honest – with the good and the bad. Honesty is an incredibly powerful tool. It can make us feel on top of the world, if it is to our liking. Conversely, it can break us down if we are not ready to face the facts. Truth is, honesty that feels uncomfortable to hear,is a sign of avoidance of some uncomfortable truth. It is our responsibility to deal with it and figure it out internally rather than get upset at the messenger. I would prefer uncomfortable truth over false compliments any day. Just a side note, do not confuse honesty with opinion.
4. Challenge your ideas – your partner should help you reevaluate your predispositions, no matter how uncomfortable that may seem. Many folks walk around with years of opinions and ideas they’ve picked up along the way. In addition to the predispositions, they tend to carry a heavy ego baggage. Ego combined with existing beliefs can be a dangerous combination, because the ego is always worried that we’re going to look foolish, therefore it prevents you from being open minded to new information that may conflict with your existing beliefs. If we put our ego aside and consider the discussion with an open and clear mind, we may learn some new information not only about the topic but about ourselves.
5. Let you breathe – every single one of us needs a little space from time to time. Whether you are in a relationship or juggling a busy family life, it is easy to forget to take care of ourselves. We end up focusing most of our energy on the wants and needs of others, forgetting to take the time to check in with ourselves. Without proper “me” time we can get lost in frustration and end up feeling used and unappreciated. In a healthy relationship, partners give each other time to pause, reflect and breathe.
6. Last but most certainly not least, if you want your partner to give you all the courtesies listed above, be sure you are ready to give them in return. A healthy relationship is a two way street.
Having a partner in life is a beautiful notion, but having the right partner for you is even more important. The right partner will enlighten you, strengthen you, empower you and help you become the best version of yourself yet. The perfect partner is not a perfect person but rather a perfect companion for your beautiful journey.