this is a page for

Category: Soul Searching

Dreams do come true!

This story is proof that dreams do come true. Never give up on what you really want in life, no matter how far fetched the idea may seem…

How to overcome fear

Fear is a pesky little fucker, isn’t it? It hides in your closet when you’re little. It accompanies you to the dentist even when you grow up. It sits on the handlebars when you’re learning to ride the bike. It joins you on interviews, crashes your presentations and completely overhauls your desire to take an exciting risk. Fear is something I’ve lived with most of my life. Like a trusted guardian, it never left my side, it only shape-shifted from one form to another. I did my best to manage it, often calling it something other than its name, like nervousness, anxiety or butterflies. But at the very core of it all, it was always fear. Fear of pain. Fear of hurt. Fear of failure. Fear of change. Fear of rejection. Fear of loneliness. Fear of judgment. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of not being enough. Fear of not having enough. Fear of not doing enough. Fear of falling in love, due to fear of heartbreak. Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear! Exhausting. But recently, something changed. It happened on a brisk summer night. Sitting around a campfire beneath a star-studded sky, I began to share a thought with a circle of friends. They kindly listened as I rambled about this and that, but as soon as the words “I’m just afraid…” escaped my lips, one of my friends interrupted, and with his stern stoic voice said the following words: “Don’t be afraid. Don’t ever be afraid.” Something special happened in this moment. They were simple words. Words that I have heard many times before. Yet on this night, they felt brand new. Maybe it was the tone of his voice, maybe it was the beautiful nature around us, maybe it was the strong…

Not getting what you want? Don’t worry, it’s meant to be.

If you haven’t obtained what you want, perhaps it’s life’s way of telling you that there are more meaningful experiences destined for you…

Surviving in an overachieving world

Modern day society is obsessed with success, ambition, and overachievement. We admire people who work over 60 hours a week and are constantly reminded of their glorious success through their colorful display of physical possessions. We tirelessly compare our achievements to those around us and so often find ourselves falling short. So we fret. We push ourselves harder or blame people or circumstances around us. We drown ourselves in work we don’t love and even after completely exhausting ourselves we are still nowhere near the Joneses but are now more tired, stressed and run down than ever before. These shortfalls make us believe we are not good enough. We can’t do what they do therefore we must be failures, slackers, bums. We accept this new reality and carefully watch their successes bloom from the sidelines while we secretly envy them and wish them to fail. What a sad story and a waste of a beautiful life. All this anxiety is based on a false premise that the purpose of our life is to be regarded as a go-getter. Yet life is so much more than that. True fulfillment comes in the form of kindness, love, and acceptance. Every day we wake up is a beautiful opportunity to love life. This may sound cliche but ask anyone laying on a deathbed if it isn’t so. Ask a parent with a dying child to confirm just how true this premise is. You see we’ve become so obsessed with overachieving that a person in a relaxed and calm state of mind can be taken for granted or regarded as a slacker. This is unfortunate because what the world really needs is not more successful people but kind, patient and loving individuals instead. To me, a person…

Is jealousy helping or hurting you?

What is jealousy? Dictionary.com provides the following definition: 1) jealousy is a feeling of resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself. 2) mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims. 3) vigilance in maintaining or guarding something. Based on above definitions, do you think jealousy is hurting or helping you? Here is my raw and unfiltered truth: I used to be a jealous person. I didn’t understand where it was coming from and if ever confronted I would wholeheartedly deny it. I didn’t see just how much pain my jealousy was causing not only me but my relationships as well. Too often I jumped into conclusions, made up false narratives in my mind and accused my boyfriends of ridiculous wrongdoings. This went on for years. My true liberation began after I set out on a soul-searching journey. This entailed taking a close and honest look at my upbringing while facing some painful and uncomfortable insecurities that lived deep within. Over time I discovered that my jealousy didn’t just appear out of thin air. My jealousy had two thick and deeply rooted causes. The first was the lack of my father’s involvement in my life and the second was a possessive and overbearing first romantic relationship. I won’t bore you with the dark and complicated corners of my psyche but I do want you to know that once I realized and accepted what was driving my jealousy, only then was I able to set myself free from the heavy and painful chains of this destructive habit. Today I see jealousy as a debilitating master that thrives on controlling thoughts and behaviors…