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Daily Archives: February 10, 2017

Is jealousy helping or hurting you?

What is jealousy? provides the following definition: 1) jealousy is a feeling of resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself. 2) mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims. 3) vigilance in maintaining or guarding something. Based on above definitions, do you think jealousy is hurting or helping you? Here is my raw and unfiltered truth: I used to be a jealous person. I didn’t understand where it was coming from and if ever confronted I would wholeheartedly deny it. I didn’t see just how much pain my jealousy was causing not only me but my relationships as well. Too often I jumped into conclusions, made up false narratives in my mind and accused my boyfriends of ridiculous wrongdoings. This went on for years. My true liberation began after I set out on a soul-searching journey. This entailed taking a close and honest look at my upbringing while facing some painful and uncomfortable insecurities that lived deep within. Over time I discovered that my jealousy didn’t just appear out of thin air. My jealousy had two thick and deeply rooted causes. The first was the lack of my father’s involvement in my life and the second was a possessive and overbearing first romantic relationship. I won’t bore you with the dark and complicated corners of my psyche but I do want you to know that once I realized and accepted what was driving my jealousy, only then was I able to set myself free from the heavy and painful chains of this destructive habit. Today I see jealousy as a debilitating master that thrives on controlling thoughts and behaviors…