#10 Never mind equality, focus on fairness 

Not everything in life is equal. No two people are identical and no two snowflakes are the same. This rule applies to relationships as well. Not everything has to be 50/50 but it should certainly be fair. Today I ask you to take an inventory of your relationship responsibilities and evaluate if it’s a fair split. It’s easy to notice our own contributions, in fact, too often we revisit the long list of things we do for our partner, each time adding a thing or two. It takes mindfulness and practice to take note of all the things our partners do for us.  Ok, perhaps you are the only one who cleans the bathrooms but is he the only one who takes out the trash?  Maybe you are the primary cook in the home, but maybe she does all the driving for the family. Are you the one always making plans and calling for dinner reservations?  Well, maybe he is the one who always pays? Shift your focus from equality to fairness. This applies not just to housework, but to the relationship itself.  One way to ensure fairness is to make sure you are in fact contributing your talents, time and attention.

For more relationship advice check out tips #9 and #8


  1. Elliot | 29th Apr 17

    Hey Alyana. I really like this post and you do make a very good point. Sometimes your partner can be particularly good at doing certain things, whereas your strengths may lay in another area. That’s why it’s a partnership, and you both give, albeit potentially in different ways. But it’s very important to ensure that both sides are giving to the relationship and that neither side feels taken for granted. In a healthy relationship this balance should work quite naturally, and when another person gives, it makes you want to give in return.

    Keep up the great work.

    • admin | 30th Apr 17

      Thank you Elliot, always happy to hear your thoughts.

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